working mom vs stay at home mom

I had to make a huge adjustment 11 years ago when we had our first daughter. We had decided that we wanted a family and our feelings were that we were not having our children for someone else to raise(I am not saying that anyone elses decision is wrong-this is what we wanted). I had a huge adjustment as I had been working full time up until the end of my 9th month. We were strapped having me stay home with the baby but I don't think I could have left her in a full time day care--so many stories. Someone can love children but when they are pushed to the limit things go untold. Understaffed, overworked and screeming children just tends to top the situation off sometimes. I am not excusing it for any reason but can see how it happens. So my husband and I just learned to do without. No extra dinners out which means no babysitter costs. We try to do things around the kids anyways. Free things are always good. Walks at the beach, down by the river, a hike at the Potato creek things with minimal charges. Always pack a snack or lunch to avoid extra costs-maybe pack the lunch but spend a little on a ice cream or something. Do a movie on the living room floor. The kids love to set up their sleeping bags, put the jammies on, turn the lights down and watch a movie--buying one for reuse is cheeper than going to the movies. Renting isn't good for us as we never seem to be able to return them on time which ='s fines--on the other note the library has free kids movies.

You can do it. It is well worth the time that you can spend raising your kids to be the good people that you want because once they are in school it becomes harder and the values that you instill in them now will last a lifetime.

My kids love knowing that mom can be the one to be at school for their parties and field trips--so many of the kids just gravitate toward my kids at school when I am with them on a trip and so many kids say to me that they wish their parents could be there. I know its not possible in every situation but it sounds like your income is for the extras.

Good luck

What about cleaning houses while your son is in preschool?  Maybe you could find a busy family that wouldn't mind your kids tagging along for an hour while you do some cleaning for them?

I have NO idea about those work from home things you read about on the internet.  I thought briefly about that after I had my first son, but it seems overwhelming trying to figure out what was legit.  

Another idea, what about direct sales?  I sell for Gold Canyon Candles and I love it!  I mostly do book parties, which is super easy.  People always love to buy candles, they sell well, and I can make a descent amount of money doing it.  I mostly sell to earn money for the extras in life.  I recently bought a new laptop (because my husband and I were both fighting over ours while trying to finish up this website!), last spring I bought a new dresser set for our bedroom, and it usually pays for a dinner or two out each month.  PM me if you are interested in more info. :)

I agree too that the cost of daycare wasn't worth giving my kids days to someone else! And homecooked meals are always better !
We do, on some of those nights take out a bottle of wine and have some cheese while watching those movies with the kids. We get to enjoy a good glass of wine in the comfort of our own home--no one is responsible for driving or picking up the kids of a sitters.
My kids are 11, 8, and 6 now. They thrive on family stuff. Picking apples and making apple pie--this is spending money but its not waisted money--it is for food. Planting a garden and seeing it grow and produce--my kids love this-although not always successful ! Flying a kite! Go fishing, attending the fireworks with a pinic dinner-glow sticks are cheaper at Big lots ! Go prepared to these events and it will cost less. I learned to pack a lot to drink for my kids and myself. We are big water drinkers and the cost of bottled water adds up. If we do anything extra like take in a movie at the theater(rare!) I stick store boughten candy in my bag for the kids instead of buying it at the theater. I take lunch bags to split a big tub of popcorn between them. Go to the ball game in SB... on dollar monday--or anynight kids under 6 are free. Through a soft sided cooler over your shoulder and no one will say anything. Just some extras that we do as a family.

I will tell you what my Peditrician said about play... I struggled as I thought my oldest was "deprived" being the only for 3 years. Play for younger children is side by side play, they don't interact yet. If you are active with them at home and teaching them they will learn more good from an adult than the not so nice from a nasty 2 year old! On the other note it is good for mom to get out! I believe you said you were in Breman ? The center township library has story time for the kids-once a week ?? Its not like the old library like I grew up with ..it is very interactive the kids dance and sing too. Look into your library for lots of stuff. Churches alot of times have play dates with fellow church people. Some also have mom's day out type of stuff. I know memorial hospital has some stuff too for new moms (babies included may attend)

I did pick up a evening part time job since the very first baby. It gave me a chance to get out with adults and it gave dad a chance to experience caring for his child on a one on one basis. The kids have grown to love their time alone with dad while I work a few hours a week.

Maybe someday we could get together(although my kids are a bit older than yours) I live in North Liberty.

Good luck
Kim

I feel the same way about having someone else raise my kids. I am torn between that and the fact that I am a total workaholic, or maybe ADD, who knows? I know myself well and know that being home all day would drive me nuts, HOWEVER, I really would LOVE the flexibility of my own schedule and taking the kids to daycare if and when I felt like it and not every single day because I "had to". That is a huge difference! So I started trying some network marketing and that hasn't yet worked out as I expected and although I am giving it a little more time cuz I found a new product that "sounds like" has some potential, I am not one to put all my eggs in one basket. So I went for it and started my own web design business earlier this year. Nothing beats being able to sell something that NO ONE has any say over, I will tell you that! So if there is something you might have a special skill with, you might consider that option. I have a neighbor that is very good at making BOWS. Yes bows. She makes this spectacular Christmas bows and she sells those! They sell like hot cakes especially at little craft fairs or boutiques. The most important thing is to keep your advertising costs low and if you can get people to simply refer you, then it just escalates from there. My recipe for getting referrals... offer the BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE you can come up with, ALWAYS. I go above and beyond with my customers and they love the one to one attention and the fact that it is UP TO ME to make the decisions. Anyway, what are you good at? Capitalize on that and WOW people with it! :)

Good luck!

Aymee Buckhannon, AZ
www.aymeebuckhannon.com