Pre-Parenting Comments
Did anyone ever say "When I have children, I'll never let them...(fill in the blank)" or "My children will know better" when watching someone else's child or interactions with their child? So much of what happens depends on the child, the environment and your response. BUT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTROL! Things that I thought pre-parent were- My child will just learn how to sit when we eat because I'll teach them. My child will try whining but I'll nip that in the bud with appropriate consequences. My child will be well behaved in church because they will have lots of practice. Reality==== Sitting for any length of time unless it is his idea is rare and even more rare at a meal time. When my son is tired or doesn't get his way, he whines. and It only take two seconds for my very fast son to run to the front of the church, during the service, to stand with his Grampy, five more seconds for him to run the other way when I go to get him and then three seconds for his (much faster) cousin to grab a hold of him and bring him back to the pew.
Do you remember your pre-parent statements? Do you every feel that the non-parent people are watching you and making comments to themselves or their other non-parent friends?
Yes!
And I believe we followed through on most of them for my first son. BUT, he's very laid back, just an eay child (or was a very easy baby)! Now, our second....we've already done things I said we "wouldn't do," and he's only 10 months old! It's funny you mention church and sitting nicely at the table, because those our two MAJOR pet peeves. So far with the baby, we've made it through most meals with him staying in his high chair (at home anyway...at a restaurant or at grandmas, another story)...we have occassionaly had to crank up Baby Einstein to accomplish it though. :)
Church may be a challenge for us with Shawn, but it's one hour a week, and we see SO many families who's small children do sit nicely in church...not impossible, but I agree...sometimes it is the child! BUT, I do think they could learn at an early age....misbehave during church, and they get taken out to the hallway. When Luke was smaller, if we went to the hall, he had to sit, not run and play. It worked for him, but again, Shawn may be more of a challenge!
Juggling two kids in the stores, I'm sure other parents look at us like we have no control! Parents will always disagree on rules and how to best raise kids. Some has to do with parenting, some has to do with the child. Unfortunately, no one can guarantee a certain parenting style will produce children who turn into good adults!
This will be a fun thread :)
Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn
All the time!
Especially during church! However I have to say that some people especially older grandmothers have said some really comforting things to me about my 4 1/2 year old. I always felt so embaressed because he was running away or doing something, but several people have laughed after church and said "he reminds me of my son when he was little, I could never keep up with him" or "just like my grandson". So that made me feel so much better and thankful to have someone to help me realize that it isn't just my parenting!
My oldest was always a little calmer and better behaved, but I have to say it changed a lot when my youngest was between 2-3. Basically there was more interaction between the two of them and it was like the youngest was then influencing the oldest one. He always ate just fine using a fork until a couple years ago he started to pick at his food A LOT with his fingers, now at 4 1/2 & 7 1/2 I have decided that they should both be over that and we have a rule that if you eat with your fingers (non-finger food) then you get to go to your room until everyone else is done.
And of course I could go on and on... but it changes with age and surrounding people too.
never (hee hee)
our children are perfect soldiers, eaters and daily cleaners, they also speak 12 languages and my son shaves at 8... oh sorry that was in my fantasy life. Our youngest ran up the alter, twirled around the cross and tried to play the foot pedals on the organ during a prayer. All of this happened while I was praying to melt away right there on that spot! I wasn't sure my husband would recover. They're so quick but I always said our children wouldn't throw things, burp or be unruly in a restaurant. It just isn't tolerated. Now I laugh, and sometimes say to other moms not to stress, we've all been there.