Not listening

That is quite an imagination for a 4 year old!  I know it's got to be hard on you to see your sweet little girl going through this, but I have to laugh at the "frog in her throat"...that is so funny! Not cute to you anymore though, I'm sure :)

What kind of punishments have you tried with her?  Did this start right after baby sister was born, or did it just recently start?  Any major changes in her life recently?  New medications she's taking?

Hopefully this is just a phase she is going though.  My oldest will be 4 this summer, and he's really gotten quite an attitude recently too!  Maybe it is something to do with the age...learning their independence?

Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn

I am definitely not a child-rearing expert and I will never claim to be. Just when I think I have them figured out, they change or go through some new phase. My oldest (now 6) has always been our most challenging . . . from the moment I could feel him in the womb! He was our defiant, tantrum-throwing, very difficult toddler and although he will always be strong-willed, he has mellowed out so much now! The best advice I can give is . . .BE CONSISTENT! Although I was not always perfect about this, it was the one thing that my husband and I worked so hard on! If we told him there would be a consequence, we followed through swiftly and immediately with that consequence when he disobeyed. We chose the one or two most difficult problems (tantrums, back-talk, disobedience) and told him what the specific punishment would be EVERY time he chose to do those. He knew what to expect and KNEW we would follow through. After a few times of the same punishment, he soon realized it wasn't worth it. If the punishment wasn't working and we knew we were being consistent, then we chose a punishment that was more effective for him.

With all three of my boys I can tell when I am beginning to get lazy and not being consistent. They start to get away with more and soon I realize that I am not being consistent and following through. Whatever form of punishment you choose (time-out, loss of priveleges, spanking, etc.) if you are consistent and do it with love and patience, it will begin to work.

Each child is so different! Hang in there! And remember, YOU ARE A GOOD MOM and you love your child and want what is best for her. Be consistent and follow through and she'll come around!

Monica
Mom to Brian, Wesley, and Curtis
Wife to Lavon
www.monicasbooks.com

I am pretty sure you just described my 2 year old minus the imaginary friend. Sometimes she can be so well behaved, polite, sweet, and even thoughtful and then other days she is a complete monster, hitting, tantrums, trouble at daycare. She knows when she is being rotten, knows what no and time out mean and just seems to not care. She is constantly pushing her limits and tends to be quite defiant at times. I try to be consistant with the time outs but it seems she will sit there for a minute or two than look at me with those puppy dog eyes and say "I sorry mommy" she'll do fine for a minute or 2 than back to her old antics.

It seems as if my son is just like your daughter. My only problem is that my son will listen to my husband but not me. We have complete melt downs in the middle of the store. My husband does not seem to see it my way either. He seems to think I am the problem. I really don't know what the problem is. I just don't want my son to be hitting, kicking or biting me. I have recently found out that my son is very good at preschool and with other people. The one problem that I have is that he always thinks that I should buy him a toy when we go shopping. My son has so many toys that he could fill our whole 1000 sq ft house with the toys alone. He has so many toys that he does not know what he has anymore. I have put some of them away and he stills doesn't notice that they are gone. Anyway, it seems as if I could call his name about a hundred times and he will not here me. But if my husband would say something he would listen. It drives me crazy. I have tried to be patient with him. He laughs at me when I put him into time out so that doesn't work. I know that I need to get a punshiment and stick with it. I have started to take away his favorite toys but that did not seem to work either because his father gave them back this morning. So what did that just teach him? That he can get away with murder with Dad and just walk all over mom. He has recently told me that he hates me and doesn't need me anymore. He also told me during a recent shopping trip that he doesn't want to shop with me anymore and that he only wants to shop with Grandma because she buys him things. I have tried to talk to my husband about this a number of times and nothing is happening. I just need to keep on working at it until I get somewhere with someone. I really need to be very patient with my son. I sure hope that he grows out of this stage and everything gets better. I do know that when he goes to time out at my mom's he listens and things are better at there house. Even if I put him into time out.

One other thing, I figured out that my son does much better with me when he is doing what they call Heavy work. By that I mean for example when he fills his wagon with toys and pulls it around the house. Another example is when he rides his bike. There is something in him that he needs that extra heavy work to make him happy. I think lately that we are missing that heavy work because of the weather not being nice to us. He gets most of his heavy work when we are outside. I try to take him outside whenever I can so that he can get that extra heavy work. Now that I am thinking about this again. I am sure that is our problem. I guess I need to get us all bundled up and get outside and do some heavy work with him.

Good luck with everything, just remember that we are trying to do our best as mothers.

Mommy of Aaron

Geez I don't know what to tell you. My 3 year old daughter doesn't ever ever listen to me I have asked for advice many times and have no good input towards it.