mother in law
I am having a real hard time getting over this so I want to know what you all think. Long story but I will make it short. My mother in law's birthday was not to long ago, we got her some flowers and a card. She called me about a week later and said she thought she had lost that money. I said what money she said well did you put money in my birthday card? I told her no she said ok. I thought that was rude, like saying her gift wasnt enough, well about 3 weeks later she told my husband that she was upset about her b day gift. (she thinks we have a money tree in back and we can get her anything) I didnt talk to her since then for about a week, she came to babysit the kids for about 2 hours and that day things were fine. My husband goes to her house Saturday before mothers day and she says to him what do you want when he walks in. She called here last friday and I was not able to get to the phone so I told my husband that she called, he called her back but no answer. She calls here Saturday (last Sat. b 4 moms day) and says what did Brian want? I said well he was calling you back, she says I didnt mean to call you I dialed the wrong number, I will let you go and hangs up !!!!! Well of course we had to go there on mothers day even though b/c of this I didnt want to, she said how happy she was that we came over. She gets upset that my husband doesnt come over on his days off work. Hello we have 2 kids and a house to take care of. She has never been married and Brian is her only child. She does babysit for us whenever we want but why do I have to take her being so rude to me??? Sorry this is so long .... what do you think
lonely
It sounds like maybe she is lonely or needing some attention, if she feels your husband should be spending his days off with her. About the money, I can't imagine wishing my kids would give me money for my birthday (unless they are millionaires and I'm not...then they better share :)....I think most parents would feel guilty when their kids spend any amount of money on them! If she is being pouty and moody, it definitley sounds like she's looking for attention!
How long have you been married?
We had in-law trouble when we first got married. Long story short, I felt my mother-in-law was having a hard time getting used to the fact that her son was married and didn't spend as much time with her, and I had a hard time adjusting to my new husband being somewhat of a "mamas boy." It took some time, but we have moved past our differences, and I think we have both learned to appreciate the whole situation....she couldn't be happier now that her son is happily married, and I can appreciate that he is close to his mom. Don't get me wrong, it was difficult to move past, but everyone had to understand and agree upon some boundries.
Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn
We have been married for 5
We have been married for 5 years but together for almost 10. I know what you mean about somewhat of a mamas boy, Brian and his mom went out to eat every friday night and I would be at home. This only went on for about the first year we dated but I had a hard time with that. They say the way a man treats his mom is how he will treat his wife. He is a wonderful husband overall so I guess maybe I need to think it could be worse!!! She is a good grandma also.
mamas boy
I've heard that about repect for their moms. And my husband has great respect for his mom, and he does for me also, so that is good! I guess in our situation, my husband did spend alot of time at his parents house (because they fed him :), and she had a hard time not seeing him as often after we got married. They are very close, and I respect that! There has to be mom time, but there also has to be time for his own family, which has to come first, in my opinion. :) Boundries have been key for us keeping the peace!
Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn
courtesy
His mom and I have agreed on the courtesy issue. Let's be as civil as possible for everyone's sake. They don't sit for us and we don't ever come over without it being planned. We're very strong personalities and from the beginning we've had ugly events. I respect my husband's relationship with his mother and encourage it every chance I can. They need each other the way we need each other. In the end, I bit my cheek and told my husband I would do whatever he asked when he asked if it had to do with our kids but that was all. They aren't my family and I won't be someone I'm not. My advice is never say anything you can't take back. And, your behavior will only hurt your husband. Lynn
I'm going to take a different approach
How old is she? Does she have any health issues? Any drinking issues? (sorry, not trying to be rude or imply anything..). I re-read what you wrote twice, and the first thing I thought of was "I wonder if she's having some memory issues"?? Like she's forgotten that she asked him to come over? Didn't mean to dial you? etc.
You did say that she gets upset if your husband doesn't come over to her house on his days off.., but just wondering if something else is going on.
It's one thing to be just down-right rude, but another if something is medically wrong?
Just wanted to give a possible different perspective. My dad died a few months ago-- he had Alzheimers.
Patty
med's
It is weird that you ask about her medical issue's. She had cadaric (cant spell) surgery and since then she has a burning feeling in her face. She has been to several doc's about it and none of them can find the problem. My husband thinks that some of this is her med's she is on from what the doc's think is the problem, with the burning. But then again we went over there mothers day and she was as nice as can be. She has always been nice to me, until this whole thing so you might be right. There arent any drinking issue's, I dont know maybe depression. Thanks for your input. So sorry to hear about your dad.
good question
That's a great thought Patty. When she mentioned medical, another thought that came to mind was menopause. How old is she? Could she be going through her change, maybe having some hormonal issues?
Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn
She is 67 so already done
She is 67 so already done with menopause. She is in good health as far as getting around but that burning in her face, the cause to that is still unknown. I guess I would just like an apology for being so rude to me. If it is some bad health problem that is throwing her off then I will end up feeling bad. I dont know, I think she wants to take our son to the park tomorrow and most likely out to lunch so we will se how she is then.
Did she have open heart surgery?
My dad at age 61 had quintruple bypass. By age 70/late 60's, he was starting to demonstrate the early signs of Dementia/Alzhiemer's Disease. I'm an occupational therapist and in school we learned about how an older person can be clinically depressed though to others it appears the older person is exhibiting dementia. I did one of my internships at Methodist Hospital in Indy, and saw this with many of the clients on the Gero-psych unit. The older person actually being depressed but appeared as if they had dementia. On another side...there may be a link between cardiac issues, diabetes and Alzhiemer's as stated in this article, that I've partly copied and pasted below:
**The Possible Links Between Heart Disease, Diabetes and Alzheimer’s
Posted on March 4th, 2008 by Tabitha Grace Smith
As a caregiver, you understand the unpredictable nature that comes with caring for your aging loved ones. With a demanding lifestyle and full agenda, family caregivers often lack the time to become properly trained in how to handle certain medical issues. However, it is crucial to become familiar with the risks associated with the leading disease in older generations: heart disease. Recent studies have suggested a link between heart disease and Alzheimer’s disease. In addition, one of the risk factors—Type 2 diabetes mellitus, or DM2—has been proven to triple the chances of developing Alzheimer’s. Fortunately, there is evidence that suggests targeting heart disease and diabetes risk factors can help prevent cognitive decline.
There is ongoing research to discover the link between diabetes and Alzheimer’s disease. Several factors other than heart disease are involved with the connection, including high blood glucose levels and abnormal insulin. High blood glucose levels have potentially toxic effects on the brain, leading to an increased chance of developing a brain disease. The high levels lead to the formation of excess free radicals, which ultimately leads to cell damage. Additionally, insulin abnormalities play a significant role in brain metabolism, learning and memory. Disturbances in the insulin signaling pathways to the brain may contribute to cognitive decline like that of Alzheimer’s.
*** Has she seen her physician lately?
Patty