curfew
As some of you know, I have a 16 year old son at home who thinks I am to hard on him. I know they are on summer break and everything and currently he has to be in by no later than 10-10:15p.m. He thinks I should let him stay out later since all of his friends get to stay out later, its just not fair that he have to come home at 10:00. I think I will give him a little more time and extend it to 11:00 and see how he does. Does anyone have any input on this? I did call the south bend police dept and asked just out of curiosity what the "legal curfew" was and they told me 11:00 M-F and 1:00 on weekends. I dont know about you guys but I dont feel comfortable with my son out until 1:00 in the morning. My only problem with him staying out with his friends is that I have to get up at 5:00 a.m. and just being the mom I am, I can not go to sleep until I know he has made it home safely. What should I do?
extend his curfew until 11 pm
Here is my suggestion. Now I only have a 4 year old. So I don't know much about this. But if I was in this situation. I would extend the curfew until 11 pm. He must be in the house at that time and if he breaks the rules one time then his curfew goes back to 10 - 10:15 pm. I would be like you up all night waiting around until he gets home. I would not let him know anything about the 1 am curfew on the weekends. That is way too late for a 16 year old to be out on the weekends.
Good luck with this.
Mommy of Aaron
friends
What are his friends curfews?
I think I agree with damerritt, 1:00 is way too late for a 16 year old on the weekends! I would say if you trust your son AND his friends, allow the 11:00 curfew. I think damerritt also makes a good point. 11:00 means 11:00...not 11:10! Make him understand that the 11:00 curfew is only extended as long as he respects it. First time he's late, guess what, 10:00 it is! If he takes his curfew seriously, then he gets to hang out with his friends, if not, he has to explain why he has to be home earlier than them.
As for you not being able to sleep until he's home safe and sound, I can't blame you! Maybe set a timer for 11:00, and hang out on the couch and take a quick nap until your son gets home. I remember growing up, my parents did this. I woke them up when I got home, and then they headed to bed.
The teenage years make me nervous :) My kids are almost 4 and 1, but I know it's only around the corner before we are arguing about curfews and all the other teenage drama. Good luck :)
Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn
How late is too late.
I taught high school for 10 years and believe me, you are not being too strict. Too many parents are way to lenient and should put their foot down more often. Also, it doesn't mean it is okay to stay out late since his friends are allowed to stay out late. If you do decide to extend curfew, I have a suggestion that a parent of one of my students told me. She would sleep in her daughters bed until her daughter returned home. This way, the mother did not miss out on sleep and she knew exactly what time the daughter got home. Just an idea since you have to be up by 5 am!
Curfew
I say if your son has earned it let him stay out till 11:00 and maybe 11:30 on weekends but always keep in mind that when you give an inch they take a mile. Once he messes it up once let him know you had your chance and thats it 10:00 it is.
exteding the curfew
Thanks everyone for all of your input. There is no manual that tells you how to be a good parent but if there was, is sure would like to have a copy. Most of the time we just go on our mother's instinct and so far, that's worked. I will talk with him and give him an extention to 11:00 and explain the new rules. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm almost over this battle but I have a pre teen at home too so I guess I am getting in the training to be prepared for the next one. Yes, teenage years are the hardest ones to go through, but I keep in mind that they are not only hard for us, they are hard on them too with all of the peer pressures. Thanks again.....