Could you forgive?

.. was a cheating spouse. We had been together 9 yrs when it all happened and married almost 5 1/2 yrs. The worst form of betrayal. My life as I knew it, the minute those words came out, that he was "interested in someone else," was forever changed. I was willing to work on the marriage to see if it could be saved.. going to a marriage counselor. However, my exhusband already had at least one if not both of his feet out the door. Fast forward 5 months later.. we were divorced. Thank goodness we didn't have any children together. I continued to go to therapy for a total of 6 months and "found" myself again. It was amazing how I was in denial about how our lives had grown apart and how really different we were as people and how that really does impact a marriage.

So, the original question of "could you forgive"-- when it all happens, it's just all so complex, not real cut and dry necessarily. Initially, I was willing to forgive because I was just scambling to try to save my marriage. Had my exhusband wanted to try to stay together and work on it.. the hurt and betrayal feelings probably would have affected the marriage.. how could it not. So, in the end, my exhusband did us a big favor. We really were wrong for each other. My husband (who I'm married to now) is amazing. We've been married almost 9 yrs.

Patty

Honestly, it's hard to say. I'm 50/50, part of me says yes because there are things such as marriage counseling and the other part of me feels like if it happened once it'd always be in the back of my head that it could happen again. I could possibly forgive but I'd never forget. It'd be tough!

I don't think I could, I have already been through one husband that cheated and one fiance (that never made it to husband) who cheated as well and both relationships ended right after. I could not look at them any longer. I felt like it was something that I did and I blamed myself for a long time. Finally I understood that it was not my fault, I did nothing wrong. I am re married and I have finally been blessed. I have a wonderful husband of 5 years married, 6 years together and in the beginning it was extemely hard to trust him. Throughout time he gained my trust and I feel like a totally new person. I am so happy to have him in my life, I couldn't ask for anyone better. I guess it is true when they say that the third time is a charm because I have received mine. To all of those who are going through a rough time right now due to infedelity, just remember, you must learn to love and respect yourself first and learn to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. There are many , many single mothers out there who are very successful and it is possible to accomplish. It was a very rough road for many years but I managed alone and with out any government assistance to help me along the way. I did apply after my divorce to just help me get back on my feet since my husband not only cheated but cleared out our entire home of everything before I came home from work. I mean, he took EVERYTHING, even the light bulbs, toilet paper holder, and the screws for the blinds. I had to start from scratch but I have become a very strong and independent woman due to the cause. I think I can take on whatever they throw at me. It took many years for me to be able to say that but I finally can. So, if you are one of those women, where there is a will, there is a way and my "way" was my children. I pushed myself to go on for them and now we have a wonderful life with my husband.